wat bout pragnant strippers??
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
