Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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