Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
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