iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
