I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
