I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
