next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
