What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
