his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
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i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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