From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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