this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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