I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
