i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
