ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
