who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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