Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
