Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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