The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
