Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize