So drunk its hurt
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
