I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
