I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
