fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
