three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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