You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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