the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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