sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
organizing the empties. That sober.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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