singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
