You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
