CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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