Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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