czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
