I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
