Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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