He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
