I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
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