ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
