Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize