I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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