honey bunches of taint.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i black out too much to be "responsible"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
