Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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