she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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