Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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