She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
