dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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