Only a mothe r could love this liver
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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