I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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