She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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