Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
