No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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