And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
