The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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