They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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