I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
