In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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