I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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