No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm at about main and main street
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
