why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
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I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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