Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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