Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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