If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
