Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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