She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
